Like for reals. How great it is that we can have peace knowing that whatever comes our way, God is in control - it’s all gonna be good! Like whattttt...the God of the whole freaking universe cares so much about us individually. It blows my mind that someone as great as him desires a relationship with us, has our best intentions, and simply just wants to be apart of our lives.
That is crazy.
Whatever trials come our way, we can have peace knowing that he is good, and ALWAYS will be good. That is comforting to hear and know, but honestly, in the moment of tribulations, it is really hard to trust that. Yea, we hear about it in church and worship songs, but when things get rough, it is a lot harder to fully let go of our control and rest and trust him. However, it is necessary.
I have grown up in a Christian home, went to church and youth group, read like every Christian girl book and was a good girl and yadadadada….I thought I knew what it meant to fully trust God with my life. But, in reality, I was still doing life by my will. I was fortunate to never have had anything really traumatic happen. I chased success and put my worth in my performance and other’s acceptance of me. I craved ‘thriving’ and doing big things...I mean who doesn’t. But when you put your worth in those things instead of in God and then fail, it really messes ya up.
Last semester I failed out of nursing school. Like flat out got kicked out the program kind of fail. It was horrible and embarrassing. The hardest part for me was that I gave it my best and studied my butt off, and still didn’t get the grades. I knew it was going to be a hard semester, but c'mon I made it through 2.5 years of nursing school already, passed all of the classes that were supposed to ‘weed’ us out, I knew how to study - I thought I would totally be fine. I was only 3 semesters from becoming a nurse with her BSN, saving lives, and doing what I honestly thought I was called to do...but now that was out of the picture. I was so confused because I studied so hard, but my grades certainly didn’t reflect that. However, I know for myself I busted my butt. The worst part was having to tell my parents, them not thinking I did my best, and the embarrassment of failing.
It was rough, and I was definitely at a low. It felt like everything was a blur, spiraling so fast and didn’t make any sense. It sucked butt, but now that I am out of it, I am so thankful that it happened because it made me so much stronger. It taught me what it means to trust God and his plan. I was definitely kind of pissed tbh (like what the heck God why did this happen? I am so confused I studied so hard why aren’t I getting it?! And this late - I am already a junior!!), but I leaned on God so much to get me through that it really opened up my eyes to true faith. I am so thankful that during those crap times that I could still find peace in knowing, God loves me and has a plan.
How sweet it is that despite it all, we still have joy in Jesus.
It is so easy to get super depressed, be full of self-pity, and upset at everything during rough times when things don’t go our way. It is normal and ok to let those emotions out because we are human, but holding tight to the idea that God is good and has our backs can get us through anything.
Our plans definitely sometimes aren’t God’s. In the moment it is hard to see how God’s plan could be better than our perfectly planned out plan, but we must trust it is! I am now a business major, can still graduate on time, and am pursuing a new career path that honestly suits me much better - I am pumped!! The good thing is nothing can get in the way of God’s plan for us, and He will lead us and make it clear in the direction He wants us to go. We just need to trust him, give it time, and pray!
Through it all, he has our backs, loves us, and is always good.
Holding on that and his love is the sweet sweet blessing of faith that gives us never ending peace and joy.
Oh my goodness thank you, Jesus!!
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